


I'll Be Fine

by PrincesaParkerina



Category: Junior Express (TV), Junior Express RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Francis is a trans boy, Incest, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, age gap, suicidal character, you know the gist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-02 09:53:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16302935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincesaParkerina/pseuds/PrincesaParkerina
Summary: Francis is in deep trouble and before Arnoldo or anyone from the crew finds out,he seeks advice on a very special someone.





	1. I'm Fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both Francis and Julio (his actor) are very intriguing individuals so instead of working on/revising my other stories I thought about them kissing and wrote this around that.  
> I know nothing about Rodrigo (Julio's character in Cuando Toca la Campana) but I still felt like mentioning him,pretend he's their Sitka from Brother Bear or Tadashi lol  
> We all KNOW no matter how questionable Arnoldo/Francis is, they're fucking Canon,but since it's Disney,Topa has to shove hetero bullshit down our throats.  
> The lyrics are from 'I'm Fine' by BTS,my sister's obsessed with them.

_My breath is quickening, my heart is racing_  
_I can feel it so easily that I’m alive_

"I still don't think he's any good for you." shrugged Julio,mindlessly licking away at his peppermint ice cream.

After hearing the aspiring director's very open opinion about his...relationship with Arnoldo for the thousandth time in the past two years,Francis just didn't have the energy to feel bothered anymore,especially now that he had much bigger worries on his mind.

Despite that,the kind waiter let a small,soft smile creep up at the corners of his mouth,brought in by the sight of Julio letting his neat beard and mustache get dirtied by the frozen sweet they were currently eating.

If Francis is honest to himself,he'd lick it all clean in an instant but it just wasn't the right time for that.

They were sitting side by side in a large swing set at a very nice and well kept park near Estación Verduras.Francis usually passes by it before and after buying all the groceries he needs but he rarely stays to truly appreciate the view.

Today was different though,today was special,Julio came to visit by Francis' own request,he desperately needs advice from someone cool-headed and sane.

He could have gone to Harmony,like he has been doing a lot lately,she quickly became a very trustworthy,close friend of his this past year and has always given him great advice,she's helped massively so far,especially in regards to building up his confidence from the ground up,he was never this close to Melody,she had always seemed too robotic and unreachable.

He'd never picture himself crying on Melody's shoulder with a bucket of strawberry ice cream by his side when it was already 3am and Arnoldo hasn't come back from his date with Inés yet,that's all he's saying.

Francis felt this time it was too personal of a matter though so his older brother Julio was the one to come to mind,considering that the aspiring actor's twin,Rodrigo (the _actually_ most responsible of the trio) had passed away a few years back,or so Francis had been told.

This Park had become their Meeting Point,whenever they had the chance to see each other,which...isn't as often as either would've liked.It was nice,quiet and full of natural beauty,away from Julio's city compromises and Francis' hectic life at the monorail.

Sprawled up on his side of the large swing,taking most of the space,thin,designer jeans-clad legs spread,one hanging by the arm of the swing and the other with his feet on the sand below them,his back leaned heavily against Francis' surprisingly broad shoulder,who sat curled up against himself with his knees up to his chest,trying to occupy as little space as possible,meticulously eating his vanilla ice cream like it was a science mystery yet to be unfold.

The pair of siblings were nearly identical,they could have been a set of triplets like the Rulos if Julio and Rodrigo weren't five years older or the assistant director didn't maintain a sexy beard and actually combed his hair once in a while.

Not that Francis is complaining,the disheveled look fits the guy perfectly,he looks really hot like this,way more than what he remembers of Julio's dumb and awkward teenage years.

Francis could try it out but 1) Arnoldo won't let him (the cook likes how feminine the apprentice still looks,Francis knows this but doesn't mind it as long as the older man respects his pronouns) 2) He wouldn't be able to pull it off anyway.

Francis finds impressive how he has every single small detail,feature and imperfection of Julio's,except the artist looks gorgeous in them and Francis looks....like himself.

However,they're almost done with their ice cream and their day together,Francis will have to say goodbye to Julio and get back to the monorail soon,perhaps he really should start to tell his older,also curly-haired brother what he brought him in to say all the way from Buenos Aires.

The talented apprentice suddenly sat up straight,his black shoes harshly touching the sandy ground,startling Julio out of his laid back posture,making the raven haired man fall back with his head on the young waiter's lap,over his wine-colored apron,remains of the ice cream falling on the sand,the older pulled a mocking sad face.

"¡Mi helado! Now I'll have to take that boring vanilla you've got there.You really should start considering taking other flavors by the way,people are going to start thinking you're boring too." Francis shrugged sheepishly,curling in on himself,Julio always says if he keeps doing this he'll disappear someday...again.

The aspiring filmmaker stretched up a thin arm,taking the sweet off Francis' nimble fingers with no difficulty at all,grinning widely,charming tooth-gap in display,big,playful,deep olive green eyes staring up at two orbs that mirrored his own,except with much less confidence to them and the dreamy spark that used to shine bright,long gone.

Julio would do anything in the world to get that spark back.So his Francis could go back to being the dreamer he once was instead of this settler he met a few years ago.

Francis looked down at Julio who was pretty much swallowing the rest of the ice cream down,moaning contentedly to himself and licking his fingers clean,the younger of the two blushed madly,like it was the most obscene thing he'd ever seen,his hand tugging restlessly at his poor servilleta,Julio did notice it,smirking and giving a sly wink,arms crossing behind his head,under dark,beautiful curls,an inquisitive look adorning his somewhat goofy yet handsome features.

"I know you,you look like the world is about to explode around us ever since we met this morning,if something's going on,you really should start spilling right....about now." 

Julio's expression softened to something resembling worry and sympathy and he sat up when Francis would start speaking,stop,start over,start speaking again,pull harder at his towel,trip over words,start again,the anxious camarero looked like he was about to cry or have a nervous breakdown,so Julio put a set of firm,reassuring hands over his sibling's own,squeezing them lightly.

Feeling a little bit confident and encouraged for once,Francis inhaled sharply and closed his eyes shut,then the skillful waiter casted them downwards,it was time.

"Julio,I need your help.I'm...pregnant."

* * *

 _It’s alright, even if it’s not us_  
_Even if sadness erases me_

 _Even if my wings are torn_  
_Even if some days, I’m not me anymore_

17-year-old Julio Graham couldn't believe what just happened.This kind of stuff just couldn't happen in real life,to real people,people like him,people like....his baby sister Chiquita.

He refused to believe cruel,cold-blooded men like this could exist out of fiction.

Up until now,that is.

Both Julio and Rodrigo felt responsible por la pequeña Francisca,and Julio thought they were doing well so far,up until...a few hours ago when she came in from school limping and scratched all over her frail,tiny body,small for a 12-year-old,she bumped into Julio,fell onto the ground on her rear and an inmensurable pain seemed to consume her entire body,she screamed loudly which freaked out her big brother to no end,he picked her up and took her to the nearest hospital,she shook,cried and fought back weakly all the way until she finally passed out.

They were a simple,loving,small town family,raised at the Circus,traveling everywhere,learning to love and respect animals and people alike,learning to love the environment,learning to love the arts.

Their Chiquita is so talented,she sings,loves painting,acting and ballet,she does trapeze too even if she's always a little scared she's gonna fall,Julio remembers bitterly how he promised he'd always be there to catch her.

What she loved the most though was spending time taking care of the Circus animals,she gave a name to each and everyone of them,she's picked a handful of stray cats and dogs,most of them she had to give away to other families otherwise there would be no place for anyone else at their humble,modest home.

Julio smiled miserably despite himself,fat tears running down his pale cheeks,hand tugging at short but growing,curly hair,a reminder he should've cut it last week but he'd been so busy with school,finals and applying for College.

Hours had passed by,various necessary exams had been done.His hermanita has been sexually abused and is pregnant of 5 weeks now.

Julio has no idea of how she must be feeling,how much of an idiot he has been for not realizing the signs sooner.

Rodrigo is in the City for the weekend,visiting a few Colleges he's considering going to,Julio's trying to contact him without success,bastard,where is he when they need him the most?! 

Julio really should be worrying about that too....Fuck it,he's gotta stay strong and focused for his Chiquita,she needs him.College can wait.

* * *

 _My cold heart_  
_Has forgotten how to call you_  
_But I’m not lonely, I’m fine_

"Julito....quiero que me muestres cómo se debe hacer,por favoooor."

The kind,raven haired teen looked up to pretty much fall over along with his Biology book,notebook and laptop,dark olive eyes,now wide and alert.

His baby sister was completely naked and cautiously walking over to Julio's small,single bed.

She wasn't pregnant anymore,she had the right to abort,since their family had all the evidence they needed to win in court and get the monster that was her Gym teacher arrested.

They had been 'lucky' it was all mostly a win,except the young girl was traumatized for life,she even had to go to a new school because at the old one,cruel kids wouldn't stop mocking her.Also,the older twins and her parents were told due to the risky abortion she had to go through,she'd need to be careful about any eventual pregnancies she might have,there was a high chance they could be fairly risky too.

She used to be always cheerful and carefree,eager to learn new things,an extrovert,extremely friendly.Slowly she started to get too cautious and jumpy,wary of everyone around her,even her older brothers.Ever afraid of doing something disapproving and getting punished or beaten for it even though no one from her family had ever threatened her before.

Julio still hates himself for not noticing any of it sooner.

The 12-year-old sat on his bed and spread her thin legs wide open,small pussy,pink and hairless,little fingers rubbing at her own tiny clit and labia,moaning softly and closing her eyes shut for a second,biting her bottom lip hard like if any louder sound she made would get her punished.

"It was the only part that felt even a little bit good apart from kissing,everything else was just pain,but I got the feeling if you did it,it would feel much better.When he did it,I always wished it was you or Rodri,because I know you'd never hurt me." the girl sounded so innocent and sincere,she reached for his hand with the intention of guiding it to her private parts,but Julio flinched and jumped back like it would burn him.

"What's wrong,Julito? I thought you loved me." her innocent tone getting a sad tinge to it,big,dark olive eyes staring up in concern and fright,afraid she might be doing something wrong.

"I do,I love you so much,Chiquita,but we can't do that,I don't love you like that.You gotta dress up and leave before someone sees us." The teen hissed,panicked,trying to look beyond the fully opened door of his and Rodrigo's room.

"...You think I'm disgusting,don't you? You hate me!" she cried out,reaching out for his covers,suddenly ashamed of her own body,taking her own conclusions about why her older brother refused to touch her.

"Julio,did you see my- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE???"

"¡Rodri!" both siblings screamed and jumped back in surprise,eyes growing wide and hands going to own mouths simultaneously.

That same night,Francisca ran away,but not before witnessing the ugly fight the twins had,finishing with Rodrigo unfairly accusing Julio of being her real rapist.

She left a letter telling his siblings and parents she would be fine,they didn't need to worry since she'd stop disappointing their family,embarrassing them and letting them down.She also told Rodrigo to lay off Julio and leave him alone,he never touched her that way,in fact,he finds her disgusting instead.

* * *

 _The darkness of the night_  
_Shakes awake my sleeping dreams_  
_But I’m not afraid, I’m fine_

Years passed,neither of the Graham Twins ended up going to College,they spent all their time looking for their missing hermanita,for all they knew,she could be dead by now.

Three years had passed since Francisca disappeared,Rodrigo got murdered coldly after trying to help a few innocent people escape from a nasty bank robbery,Julio included.

The young actor lost both his siblings and was in denial about falling into a deep depression,since deep down,he felt both of them were his fault.

He was supposed to have taken care of their Chiquita that weekend,turns out she'd been sexually abused right under his big nose.

He was sure that bullet was supposed to struck him,not Rodrigo.

By insistence of his parents,Julio went to Film School,they weren't taking the loss any better than he was,but they still wanted to see their remaining son pursuing his own dream to do film.

There he met Daiana,a beautiful,aspiring actress and dancer who became a very close friend and his girlfriend later on,she helped him up with his depression although his heart never stopped feeling empty and hollow due to his losses,he tried to move on,he'd done a dozen short films until something very unexpected happened in a very ordinary day.

Daiana was babysitting her cousins on a tedious,uneventful Sunday afternoon when she jumped from the couch,she couldn't believe her eyes,her cousins were paying close attention,singing and dancing along whenever needed,they were watching some colorful Disney Junior show in which one of the actors looked unmistakably like her Julio.

Face shaven,hair gelled up and combed in a dumb,ridiculous way that made her laugh until her belly ached,she sent a text to Julio with a few pictures of the guy onscreen with the caption 'I didn't know you were living a double life,Hannah Montana.'

The aspiring director swore he died and came back that day.

* * *

It's been 6 years,that 'guy' on TV was no doubt his pequeña Francisca.Obviously older and a guy simply named Francis now,apparently? Doesn't matter,what matters is that she- _he's_ still alive and _right there_ a few feet ahead of him just waiting to mend back the Francisca shaped hole missing in his heart.

His baby _brother_  was wearing the silly waiter uniform and hair he saw on the show,his back to him,short,curly hair glistening with so much gel,Julio was almost certain it could blind him.

The now 18-year-old apprentice was carefully picking up fruits and vegetables,anything that even remotely looked like it could get rotten soon was enough to get Arnoldo _sensíble,_ he can't afford to ever mess it up.

Francis felt an apprehensive,trembling,thin hand slowly touch his shoulder and stay there,holding on more firmly as each second ticked by,Francis stopped in his tracks and breathed in deeply,not looking back just yet,it couldn't be,it's been ages and he still recognized the touch and smell of his usual cheap perfume,but it couldn't be! Julio hated him! All his family did! 

"¿Francisca?" the dreaded,way too familiar voice that slightly reminded him of his own finally spoke up,the young waiter visibly flinched at the name.

"¿Q-qué estás haciendo p-por acá?" Francis managed to speak,swallowing a lump in his throat,still looking ahead,both hands scratching around an apple.He missed Julio so much he wanted to cry,but at the same time...

"Is it really you? Please,look at me! It's been so long! ¡No sabes lo tanto que te extrañé!" the aspiring filmmaker ran a warm hand against Francis' cheek lovingly,using it to turn the camarero's head in his direction,forcing eye-contact.

Julio smiled hesitantly,deep green eyes shining bright with tears of recognition.

"S-Sí,soy yo,pero- ...Ah."

Francis was immediately engulfed in a strong,warm hug that could even match Arnoldo's.He held Julio back just as firmly,letting that apple fall in the process,right along with his own tears.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours,up until Francis was being called back and inquired as to why he was taking so long,that's when Julio met Arnoldo and consequently the rest of the crew by spending the day at the monorail.Julio observed everyone's odd behavior carefully,but especially Francis...and Arnoldo.

Judging by the sweet camarero's own demeanor,the young filmmaker was having the dreaded feeling that his...Francis hasn't gotten any help coping at all from his trauma during all these years.

* * *

 _I'll let go of your hand now_  
_Cuz I'm just fine_

"I had a huge crush on him,you know?"

Francis said,smiling dreamily,almost blissfully so,juggling 5 bowling pins in his hands just to see if he still had it.

He did,it was like riding a monocycle.

"What?" was all Julio had managed,he'd been wallowing in guilt in front of the talented apprentice for at least the last half hour.Francis clearly had his own angle on that particular story.

First person angle.

"Profesor Mateo,I had the biggest crush on him,I started it,the advances,I mean...when he kissed me for the first time I felt like it was the best day of my life! Nothing could feel better than that..."

Francis started juggling the pins much faster,manic smile gracing his thin lips followed by the glint of madness in his eyes were starting to seriously concern Julio,who stood up and approached carefully.

"That hair,that beard,that smile,those eyes...he loved me! I know he did,now I know! He only hurt me because I deserved it...because I was naughty,the same way Arnoldo-" Julio froze at that,waiting for his troubled brother to admit what the aspiring director feared the most.

"-yells at me.They didn't really mean it,I just keep messing everything up all the time."

Francis' manic smile had turned to miserable,eyes blown wide in a crazed haze,Julio's hands reached for both of Francis' wrists,making him stop,the pins all falling soundly by their feet.Holding firmly but not strong enough to hurt.

Never strong enough to hurt.

"You _know_  none of this is true,you  _oughta_ know."

They were currently at Julio's apartment in the city,it was small,but had a great view,so it was okay.Francis had managed to get a weekend off to spend time and catch up with his 'new-found' brother.Just the two of them.

It wasn't going as well as either expected.

"Do you love me?" Julio was caught off guard by the sudden question,his grip on Francis' wrists softening ever so slightly.

"I- I-....Of course I d-" thin fingers clutched the assistant director's neck and messy hair,chapped,pale lips were over his own in a harsh,desperate,determined kiss.

Julio's eyes went wide,his hands on his sibling's blue t-shirt,trying to push the younger away,then he inevitably gasped for air,Francis taking the opportunity to explore his brother's mouth much further with his tongue,the older of the two moaned softly into the waiter's mouth,relaxing into the touch,his eyes closing and his hands roaming down over the apprentice's sides without him really meaning to.

Francis is so goddamn good at this,you could never tell just by looking at him.

Julio didn't really want to stop and think about who taught the kind camarero all the wonders he's doing with his tongue right now (he was also trying very hard not to think about how it didn't feel this good with Daiana or his previous girlfriends and flings.)

Still,none of this was right in any way,when he needed air again he gathered enough courage to shove Francis away none too gently.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" he spat,somewhat breathless.

The utterly broken expression on his younger brother's face made him regret every single decision he's ever made in his life,right or wrong.

Most of them had been wrong,from the looks of it.

Retrieving back to the chair by the kitchen counter slowly,hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt,teary,deep eyes looking down in shame.

"You still find me disgusting,don't you?"

* * *

 _I don't want to be sad anymore_  
_I want to see the sunshine_

Deja Vu was a plague,a curse,Julio was sure of it.

"I- It- It was an accident! I just need a place to stay for a little while,I swear I'll find a new one soon,it's just- it's nearing 12 weeks already,I'm gonna start showing and I know I won't be able to stay at the monorail much longer,so I'm leaving tonight before Arnoldo or anyone finds out and-"

"Espera,espera,hold on."

Julio held out a finger for effect,stopping Francis' frantic rambling mid-sentence (it's not like he understood most of it anyway).

He got the basics: 1) His Francis is pregnant.

2) The father is a man who's 25 years older than him at the very least.

3) He's someone Julio's 99% percent sure has been abusing him to some degree,the young artist only needs solid proof.

They're both adults,but Julio's 17 and Francis is a small 12-year-old nicknamed Chiquita all over again.He leaned back thoughtfully.

"I suppose I'll have to ask Dai first,I mean,we _just_  moved in together and-... Wait,Arnoldo doesn't know?!"

Francis' mouth opened wide in realization,he barely registered the last question before frantically jumping off the swing like an electric shock had just gone through his entire body.

"Oh my god! You guys are living together! I completely forgot! Could you forget everything I just said? That'd be great.I really should get going now,permiso...."

The talented apprentice blurted out,jumping several times beyond nervous on the spot,pulling his vest and undershirt down furiously,they were clearly getting tighter on him as each day went by.

When Julio finally registered what just happened in front of him,he blinked slowly then looked ahead to find Francis running back in the Station's direction,dozen bags with groceries forgotten by the older's side.

"FRANCIS!!! ¡FRANCIS,ESPERA!" 

The aspiring director jumped and started running after him,getting a shortcut to get to him faster.

When he tackled Francis,he didn't really mean to throw the sweet waiter to the ground underneath him,it still happened anyway.

Francis groaned painfully and started thrashing against Julio's hold,breaking in a cold sweat,panicked tears running down his pale,distressed face.

"¡Dejame ir! ¡Dejame ir,por favor! I didn't mean to bother you guys,I'm fine! I can handle this by myself!"

"You clearly can't! Just let me help! Just...first you gotta breathe for me,okay?"

Francis nodded and inhaled sharply,slowly exhaling after,doing the process a few more times until his heartbeat was somewhat closer to normal again,he'd done this with Harmony several times,he knows the gist.

Julio obviously had stood back a little,so he was mostly hovering above the young apprentice instead of laying over him,leaning his elbows on the grass,legs still mostly tangled with the younger.

His fingers had laced with Francis' while he instructed his younger sibling whilst breathing,squeezing them reassuringly.

"That's it,I'm so proud of you."

"No,you're not.I just keep disappointing you."

Francis turned his head away,embarrassed for even existing.

"You could never,you've been improving a lot lately,also you're insanely talented,gifted and I heard out there that you're the best waiter in the world."

Julio himself didn't really see this whole waiter thing as a big deal,but it was clearly very important to Francis,so he says it just to see the talented apprentice smile that gorgeous smile of his.

"Indeed I am." Francis grinned cheekily.

To each compliment Francis had earned a sweet kiss,on the cheek,on his forehead,down the veins on his neck.After replying,he turned his head back to face Julio who captured his lips in a loving,slow kiss.

"I love you."

Neither noticed a set of curious,bright eyes observing the odd pair from afar with large interest.

* * *

 _All of the sadness and scars_  
_Became an old memory now_  
_So let’s smile and let go_

"I haven't felt this calm and actually at peace in years."

"What do you think brought this up?"

"Kissing you."

Julio was really hoping Francis wouldn't say that.

After their unexpected kiss,nearly a panic attack from Francis and a handful of items thrown around the room later,they were sitting comfortably by the couch in Julio's small living room.

Francis felt warm and cozy snuggled up in Julio's lap,head nuzzled against the crook of his neck,leaving a trail of sweet kisses there,Francis' hand picking at the details in Julio's designer shirt,the young artist's own hand pulling softly at dark,curly hair that without all the gel and stylization looked exactly like the own messy nest he's been so proud of keeping up lately.

Julio loved it,he has no idea why he used to be so ashamed of their family's rulos before.

He could get used to this.

"You know we _really_  shouldn't be doing this,right? First off,we're related,second I got a girlfriend,third you've got...whatever that is with the cook."

"Arnoldo..." Francis said muffled,defensive and slightly annoyed but not moving from his spot.

"That one,so..."

"To me it's different,don't you feel it? With Mateo it was always painful and with Arnoldo I'm always afraid to mess something up,but with you..."

"Please,don't."

"With you,I finally feel happy and complete,I feel home."

Julio groaned in frustration,he hated the fact he reciprocated the waiter's feelings also.

Almost against his will,the hand on the younger's hair pulled Francis' head up gently to face him,wide,warm,beautiful tooth-gapped smile welcoming him,Julio didn't really get it,Francis was a mirrored version of himself,earning all his features,details and imperfections,yet they made her- they looked gorgeous on _him_.

Julio closed the small inches separating them,connecting their similar lips,their second kiss went much smoother than the first.

Just how it's supposed to be.

* * *

 _I’ll keep telling myself_  
_Even if I fall down again_  
_I'm fine_

"I'll bite,why can't Arnoldo know you're pregnant if he's the father?" questioned Julio,trying to sound kind and patient but failing miserably.

"Wait,you're...pregnant?!"

"Called it."

"How is that even possible if he's a guy? I thought that could only happen to girls."

Three distinct voices were heard,los Rulos were approaching slowly,several once forgotten grocery bags divided in between them.

They all sat around Francis and Julio on the grass,making a circle like they would around a campfire.

Francis looked down,cheeks deeply red and overheated,one hand fiddling around a few leaves,the other instinctively going over his slightly pudgy stomach,four sets of curious eyes watching his every move,the loyal assistant gulped and looked up but not at anyone in particular,the hand that had been fussing over the leaves had gone back to it's rightful place,pulling at his towel.

The apprentice sees Los Rulos as younger,reckless siblings he never had,they weren't exactly high on the list of people he planned to tell first.

But nothing seems to be going according to plan for awhile now,hasn't it? 

"Sí,Rulo Rolando,lo estoy.It wasn't planned,but I'm happy,I want them,whoever it is growing inside me I love them dearly already,even if Arnoldo might not." Francis said firmly and sincerely,he earned a disbelieving chuckle from the 'Rulo Guapo',dazzling smile on full display.

"Why would you think Arnoldazo wouldn't want a kid? Especially with you,Franciscocho?!" his tone remained light and smooth,he was definitely surprised by the news,but he wouldn't say he didn't see it happening eventually.

"He loves you to death! Even if it's in his oooown way....besides,he loves kids! You've seen how he treated Larita that one time,it was so cuuute! The way he treats the kids every time he gets a chance to see them before or after a concert! He even cooks for them sometimes or calls them to be his apprentice for a day! He'd be a great daaaad! Though I still don't get how you can get pregnant but it's okay! Because-"

Julio decided to drown Rulo Ricardo out and swim on his own thoughts for awhile because,my god,the kid doesn't shut up ever.

One thing about this whole conversation is intriguing the young filmmaker to his core,if Arnoldo will be this loving and accepting about being a father like they say he will,then why-

"Why are you trying to run away again? Once wasn't enough?" Julio blurted out with a level of anger,resentment and harshness he swore it wasn't intentional.

Everyone went silent instantly,the air getting heavy around the 5 of them.Francis swallowed audibly and curled up around himself some more,every time he thought things were okay between him and Julio....

"Inés Pinaca." was all he replied,sighing defeatedly.Francis was so tired but he still had so much work to do in the kitchen today,once he got back...

"Who's that?" Julio asked confused all around to anyone who would be willing to answer.

"La crítica de cocina,Arnoldazo's fake love interest.He got one since everyone can sense from a mile away that those two there bang every chance they get,it's insane,really." Rolando said nonchalantly and Francis glared at him,cheeks flaming,Julio really could do without this bit of information.

"I don't get what's the big deal though,Ricardini here also got one because parents were starting to suspect he's gay and you don't see me fretting about it..." the blue-clad Rulo continued.

"It's different and you know it!" spat out Francis dejectedly.

"Wait,why would that bother you,he's just your brother,not-" Julio started.

"They are together since we were 14.They bang just as often as Arnoldo and Francis." said Carlos matter-of-factly,finally looking up from the popcorn he'd been devouring during this whole conversation.

Julio's jaw hit the floor,Rulo Ricardo was turning into a living tomato,still he instinctively cuddled up even closer to Rolando.

"Do not give me that look,I've seen you and Francis,it would be hypocritical of everyone involved." Carlos addressed Julio's judgmental expression flatly.

"Wait...you guys too? I guess we're all in love with our mirrors,huh?" Rolando smirked slyly and winked,obviously addressing the other set of identical siblings then kissing Ricardo straight on the lips affectionately just because he could.

"I already said it's different,dammit! I think he's really falling in love with her.Like, _really._ Soon enough,therewill be no place for Francis,even less a baby." Francis huffed out in frustration,Julio hated how that broken expression had become so familiar on his baby brother's charming features.

Honestly,Francis actually didn't know how to pinpoint the differences between what he felt for Julio and Arnoldo anymore,neither felt like serious,lasting relationships,all he knew was that they were definitely different from how Rulo Ricardo felt about Rulo Rolando and Harmony.

Let's say the drawings the Rulo Tierno had done since he was 12 that included him getting married,the significant other had never been Harmony (or any other girl) and it still isn't.

Lost in thought,the loyal apprentice took a while to realize Julio was right by his side now,instead of sitting a few feet across from him,familiar,warm fingers lacing with his own.

"I still don't think running away again is the answer.It's a really stupid idea actually.There's enough people you'd let behind here who loves you and would worry like crazy,the same way I and our family did all those years ago and even worse now.Right,guys?"

The triplets nodded sincerely,Ricardo and Rolando had managed to steal most of Carlos' popcorn by now.He was furious,payback was overdue.

"If Arnoldo turns out to be a piece of shit of a human being and rejects you,you've got me,you've got your friends,you're not alone,but.....you really gotta tell him first."

Francis sighed deeply in resignation and bowed,there was no winning this,there was no sneaking away,no escape from telling the gran cocinero.

"...Fine.Lo haré cuando volvermos hacia el monorriel."

The curly-haired apprentice heard loud cheers and suddenly found himself immersed into an welcoming,much needed group hug.

"This kid will have so many uncles." stated Carlos.

"But how come you're so sure he's gonna replace you for Inés? He went out with her like twice or three times." Ricardo wondered aloud.

"Well,some fans asked him on Instagram 'How come you don't have a girlfriend?' he said he does and that it was her.So I guess it's official now.Great timing of mine." Francis said in a serious tone,grimacing.

All four broke the hug,Rolando and Ricardo bursting into laughter,Julio and Carlos stiffing a laugh themselves.

Francis didn't really get it,but he had no time to ponder further on it since he could hear Arnoldo yelling his name from at least a hundred feet away.

He looked at 2/3 of the Rulos wiping tears from their eyes from laughing so hard and Julio and Carlos grinning toothily.

He thought back to the important people he had yet to tell besides Arnoldo,his parents,Capitán Topa,Harmony,how many times he'll probably have to repeat it all to Natalio,he chuckled out loud at that.

Suddenly he realized he had nothing to worry about,he had a huge family to support him no matter what.

He would be just fine.

* * *

"Francis,I'm really sorry about bringing up that whole 'running away' thing again,I just...it was hell when you did it that first time,I couldn't believe you'd even consider the idea again." Julio's face looked genuinely apologetic,dark eyes full of emotion and unwanted memories.

They were walking towards the monorail when the artist's hand found itself holding on firmly yet gently to the waiter's arm,stopping him on his tracks.

"I know.I'm just...still so scared of this whole situation I wasn't thinking straight." Francis bowed his head,his lips a thin line.

"Come on,you don't have to be scared anymore,you've got support! We've just gone through this..." Julio's arms were draped around the younger's shoulders in a tight side hug,shaking him lightly.

They're the same height,so Julio had to get on his tip-toes to kiss the top of Francis' head,his nose nuzzling against the younger's hair,hooked on the very nice smell of his sibling's curls,the skillful apprentice breathed in and sighed contentedly only to grimace a few seconds later.

"If only I was a 100% sure Arnoldo's _really_ the father..." the curly-haired waiter looked away from Julio sheepishly,the aspiring director jumped from the embrace instantly.

"What does that mean? Who else would it b- Whoa...No way."

"No quería decirlo but I never forget my pills when I'm with Arnoldo.The only time I can recall is-"

"Our weekend in Rio....I didn't know that _that_ counted." Julio was wide-eyed in realization.

He really should've thought harder about why Francis had come to him first about this whole ordeal instead of the cook.

* * *

"Francis,you're late! You should have been back over an hour ago! Hay mucho que hacer en la cocina y- ¿Francis,que pasa? Stop that,you're worrying me even more than I already was."

The young apprentice had practically jumped Arnoldo once he got close enough to the cook standing by the main entrance of the monorail,tears running down his face,he held tightly to the older man.

"Francis?"

The camarero stepped back,looking up at a confused and worried Arnoldo,still teary-eyed but smiling bright,he got one of the cocinero's large hands and guided it to his stomach.

"Espero que te guste la idea de ser papá."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy love me some angsty cheesefest.  
> I'm not saying Julio looks older when he's just himself,I just didn't want them to have the same age,I kinda wanted Francis to look up to him.  
> Arnoldo roughly fucking a heavily pregnant Francis is the hottest shit my mind ever came up with,but the Trinity of Julios in a threesome could be close.  
> Oh and the twins going at it while Carlos touches himself watching them.  
> (I should never be allowed near any Children's Program ever)


	2. Save Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister told me these songs complemented each other way after I planned to give this story one more chapter,hitting most of the same notes of the first one but focusing way more on Francis' POV.  
> I regret not including Hugo (Carlos' actor) on the first one since I wanted him to be very active here,even in a poli relationship with Julio and Daiana maybe.

_I’m trapped inside of myself and I’m dead_  
_Don’t wanna be lonely_  
_Just wanna be yours_

She silently tip-toed downstairs in the middle of a hot May night,pink Barbie backpack strapped to her back,forest green Little Mermaid suitcase and colorful worn out Floricienta tennis shoes.

She gasped softly when spotting the lanky figure sprawled on the couch by their living room.Papers scattered all over,laptop fallen on the ground,one earbud in and another hanging loosely by the bridge of the small,white sofa.

Short,curly hair a mess,thin arms and legs on each corner of the couch,gorgeous,dark olive green eyes closed shut,long eyelashes,thick eyebrows furrowed,pale lips shut in a tight frown,he was wearing a dark blue sweater and grey oversized sweatpants,he looked as intriguingly handsome as always.

Although his sleep seemed worryingly restless.

She wanted to memorize every single inch of him,every single detail of his face,the way he moved,the way he breathed heavily through his charming large nose and tooth-gap.Unfortunately,it looked like he was having a nightmare. 

If everything goes according to plan,this is the last time she'll see him.

The last time Francisca sees Julio.Her big brother,one of the most important people in her life,the man of her dreams that could never be.

She's always been much closer to him than to Rodrigo,he helped her with homework,taught her how to ride a bicycle,helped her find a safe home to the badly treated animals at the Circus,taught her that all animals are her friends and not food,always held her hand tight when they'd do trapeze,they'd marathon dumb Disney Channel shows together,always dress up matching for Halloween.

He said he'd always be there for her when she needed him.

But lately.....he has been distant.

The last 4 months had been the toughest times she'd ever been through and he always just seemed to be too busy for her.

Rodrigo and their parents told her she'd need to be understanding,that her big brothers were too busy because they'd leave for College soon which only made her feel even more confused.

If they were about to leave,wouldn't it make more sense for them to spend more time with her while they can?

Don't they love her anymore?

Doesn't _he_ love her anymore?

She knows very well the answer to those questions,she was feeling lonely,Profesor Mateo was offering some company and now she was a disgrace to this family.

They would never look at her the same.

 _He_ would never look at her the same.

She wiped away a stubborn tear and ran past the front door as silently as she could.

A startled Julio woke up from his nightmare sweating and heart practically jumping out of his chest,he flew upstairs to check on his baby sister's room to see if she was still there sleeping peacefully and safe.

She wasn't.

* * *

 _Why is it so dark when you’re not here_  
_It’s dangerous how wrecked I am_  
_Save me because I can’t get a grip on myself_

Merciless storm,it's dark,it's freezing cold and they haven't eaten a proper meal in weeks.

But it's okay as long as they got each other,even if they only got bones and thin,ragged fabric to warm themselves.

They're shivering but they're okay,he'll make sure Natalio doesn't get lost again at least.

They were curled up against the cold metal of a closed for the night Convenience Store,both trembling wildly but the tall,lanky man with wild dark brown hair and eyes had managed to fall asleep somehow.

Natalio when awake was a bit crazy and disoriented yet also very smart and kind...perhaps too brutally honest most of the time,that might be why they never got as much money as they could performing on the streets and fixing people's utensils and instruments if the man wouldn't just stop himself from asking that woman if she was pregnant or just fat.

Francis chuckled softly,he felt like he had his own Doc Brown.

Still the curly-haired teen and Natalio were a very amusing pair of clowns who always got everyone's attention.

Even TV Stars Francis would never dream of meeting while trapped in the small town he used to live in.

Diego Topa was as charming and handsome as he looked on TV.They effortlessly always made him laugh out loud and they were greatly recompensated for it,a big lunch,nice clothes or way more money than they would get in a normal day's work.

Smiling to himself,thinking about Topa,he was finally drifting into sleep when a loud car honk startled him wide awake and alert,Natalio yawned lazily,blinked twice and looked ahead.

"Who is it? W-what do you want? I-I already said we don't do that kind of stuff!" he tried to sound fierce and determined,eyeing the dark in search for the butcher knife he knew it was nearby yet he was sure he sounded meek and pathetic to his own preteen ears.

It definitely wasn't the first time a suspecting large,black car pulled up by their corner in the middle of the night disrupting their much-desired sleep to ask if Natalio would consider going back to crack or heroin or for how much Francis would sell his frail body.

He didn't have patience for either and they were almost kidnapped once or twice.

But the more he inspected this car,the more familiar it looked,then the window rolled down to show a familiar round face,smiling kindly at the pair.

"Hey,this kidnapper looks friendly! I hope he takes us somewhere that has a fireplace!" Natalio stood up,grinning blissfully and running a large,bony hand on his thick hair.

Topa chuckled heartily and unlocked the doors to his minivan.

"I mean no harm,guys.I was just thinking you'd like to sleep somewhere warm tonight and..it looks like I'm right! Hop in!"

Natalio did so eagerly,glad for the warm against his soaking wet clothes,Francis did so too but much more cautiously.

He only wondered what the short,kind singer could possibly want in return.

"Señor....Topa,I didn't know you were _this_ kind of man,I'm honestly a little surprised,not THAT surprised,just a little...since you work with children and all-" he shrugged helplessly.

"Francis,what are you on about-" the man's eyes widened in realization,without a doubt the kid went through a similar ordeal before and it had not ended well at all.

He stopped the car and looked back with undeniable sadness to his joyful dark brown eyes at a fearful Francis clutching tight like a lifeline to a protective Natalio,Topa reached his hand out for the curly-haired teen to take,Francis took it,slowly but surely,the future-Captain squeezed the pale,thin hand gently,locking gazes with the young teen,warm sincere dark brown against fearful olive green.

"Look,it's not like that,I know you met algunas personas muy malas in your short lifetime but I'm not like that.I'll explain things better once we get home,for now...just look behind you."

"...Home?"

Francis and Natalio looked back at three sets of eyes peering back at the duo curiously.A set of twins,black hair and mischievous brown eyes,they didn't look a day older than 10 and a scrawny ginger kid with vacant blue eyes.

"Guys,this is Natalio,an old childhood friend who lost his memory,so he doesn't remember me...or anyone for that matter."

"Me gusta el nombre." Natalio waved and smiled friendly,though to the new kids it might have looked a little creepy.

"And this is Francis,he's an artist,a performer,has all sorts of cool talents under his sleeve."

"He's not wearing any sleev -Ow- he's not!" the ginger kid hissed and glared daggers at one of the twins who had elbowed him,the one with cute dimples in which Francis didn't know the name yet.

"Soy Rulo Rolando." said the kid with the charming dimples,he seemed to be the most outgoing of the trio.

"Soy Rulo Ricaaardo.I like Natalio's hair,actually both of you have cool haaair and-" said the twin with the sweet smile who was interrupted by the scrawny kid,who stopped the other's hand from reaching ahead.

"Soy Carlos,somos hermanos trillizos y musicos.And you don't look like a boy.Ow." stated Carlos flatly earning himself another elbow to the ribs.

"You guys were thinking it too." was the blue-eyed preteen's defense,shrugging innocently,Francis' expression still looked hurt nonetheless.

"And you don't even look like you're their brother,even less their trillizo,en realidad me pareces muy distinto." spat back the older teen,smirking. 

Something told Francis that _that_  would hit the spot for the taller of the group.

"¿Distinto? ¿A quien estás llamando distinto? Somos tres hermanos idénticos,cierren los ojos y-"

Everyone groaned,it was going to be a long night yet Francis had a small,fond smile on his face.

Maybe this could be his new family.

* * *

 _Listen to my heartbeat_  
_It calls you whenever it wants to_  
_Because within this pitch black darkness_  
_You are shining so bright_

 _"_ Ah,Francis,you look so lovely tonight,hasta podría besarte." whispered the cocinero tenderly,the older man's face so close their noses were almost touching and they could feel each other's cold breath,thick,calloused fingers lifting up the teen apprentice's chin,Francis blushed madly and looked away,suddenly shy.

"Do it." the sweet apprentice whispered back,a hint of challenge glinting his dark green eyes before he shut them expectantly.

The first time Arnoldo and Francis kissed,he was 15 and the great cook was 45.The kind waiter had been the man's loyal assistant for almost 2 years now.

The brunet man had taken a liking to him the very first time they saw each other,Francis had been so eager to learn new things and occupy his mind once he was starting to feel homesick and Arnoldo hadn't been able to go through all the work in the kitchen by himself so Francis was recruited since los Rulos were a huge disaster.

They were at Summer Camp,the triplets had invited Francis but regretted the decision soon enough since Arnoldo had oh so kindly invited himself (cough guilt-tripped Francis cough) into going camping along with them.

The trillizos were not happy at all to have an adult watching their reckless 12-year-old asses,even worse if that adult was Arnoldo.

Francis was ecstatic though,especially tonight,up the hill,under bright stars and a crescent moon.Arnoldo brushed their lips together softly,gently,testing,teasing then pulling his face only an inch away to appreciate the younger's sparkly eyes and bright,beautiful smile.

From the moment Francis had looked at the man he had found the lonely,demanding cook insanely attractive,the kind of attractive that had gotten him into deep,deep trouble not long before this but he couldn't help it.

Thankfully,the older brunet had always been respectful in that aspect,Francis had sensed as time went on the man's indifference towards him slowly blooming into loving adoration in those lingering touches and glances,even if the waiter didn't get why,perhaps it might be because the man didn't really know the real him,the one his family would never be proud of.

None of them really did and depending solely on Francis,they would never know.

A large hand stroked a delicate pale cheek bathed by the moonlight,thin fingers joining bigger ones by the soft skin,Francis hummed softly and leaned further against the cool,rough touch.

"Mi Francis,tan precioso,irreemplazable."

The responsible waiter doesn't know exactly _when_ the cook decided he belonged to the older man and he couldn't bring himself to care,all he knew was that he was doomed yet again.

* * *

 _Please save me tonight_  
_Within this childish madness you will save me tonight_

Camp was over and Francis had one week left before going back on tour at the monorail for the next six months,it was a hectic,busy life that the black haired apprentice learned to love.

He was roaming the streets without so much as a destination,just one of those nights where he's missing his family very badly and considering visiting their old home but ultimately deciding against it,like always,for the past two or so years.

He had no idea he'd see Julio tonight,even less the circumstance he'd find his older brother in.

Unexpected? Unfortunate? Those were huge understatements.

A handful of people started surrounding him,phones in their hands,filming the whole thing.

"Dude,look up! I think that guy is about to jump the bridge!"

Francis looked up and tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness,the skinny man looked older,had a beard and his curly hair was as long or even longer than his own yet there was no mistaking it,that was his Julio.

Just about to kill himself,apparently,Francis started to panic.

"Hey,do you know who's up there? I think I know that g- Whoa." a tall,lanky man with bright blue eyes and silky,black hair nudged the short waiter's shoulder,then he gasped when Francis turned around,the mirrored version of the man about to off himself up that bridge.

The taller man reminded the apprentice of an older,less troubled version of Carlos.

"W- who are you?!" the 'Carlos alike' started,quickly losing his cool composure,perhaps he might be as troubled as Carlos but probably hides it better.

"Look,it doesn't matter,okay? You gotta go stop him, _right_ now.Please,he doesn't know what he's doing!"

Francis pleaded in a rush,pushing the blue-eyed man in Julio's general direction.

"Hugo,do you know who's up there?" a beautiful,tan skinned woman with long,black hair approached the group.

"It's Julio,he's about to make a huge mistake,we gotta go get him!" replied the man,Hugo,with an urgency to his suave voice.

"Oh by the way-" Hugo looked back to find no Julio doppelganger.

"He's gone.Dai,did you see him? He was right here!" confusion etched the handsome man's features.

"Who? Ugh,we have no time for this,come on!" the pretty woman,Dai,pushed Hugo forward,they have a suicidal friend to save!

"But there was this guy,he looked exactly like Julio but-"

"Great,now you're hallucinating...come ooon." she said impatiently,pushing him harder past the growing crowd.

"But...there was something off about him."

Francis was hidden but he remained at the scene for the rest of the night,only leaving when he was sure his older brother was safe,going home with the two friends by each side.

* * *

 _I knew that your salvation_  
_Is a part of my life and the only helping hand that will embrace my pain_  
_The best of me, you’re the only thing I have_

"This is eerie." observed Carlos,curiously poking at Julio's face.

"But he said his family all died in an accident at the Ciiircus! He was our Robin!" exclaimed a sweetly confused Rulo Ricardo.

"Dude,are you a _Ghost_?" proclaimed a very stunned Rulo Rolando.

"You _killed_ me?!" chuckled a disbelieving aspiring filmmaker,clear affection on his eyes,despite it all.

Francis buried his face on his hands.Why did he think bringing Julio to the monorail was a good idea?

"So what was up with that killing your whole family thing?" Julio's tone was casual,but his eyes and face were as easy to read as Francis' own,he was clearly hurt by the revelation,dropping the act he'd done to the others.

"I'm sorry,I really am but if I told Capitán Topa that I still had...a whole family despite living on the streets for almost a year by then,he'd definitely send me back to you guys." Francis declared nervously,hand brushing his repasador with unneeded extra force,not really looking up at Julio.

They were currently snuggled up in Francis' bunk bed,at the Vagón Dormitorio he shares with Arnoldo (the great cook reluctantly agreed to leave them alone to catch up).Julio sat against the headboard,Francis sat with his back against his older sibling's chest,two sets of thin legs tangled,Julio's head on the waiter's shoulder,one hand on the younger's waist and the other lazily stroking his gelled,raven hair,it smelled of raspberries.

"And what would be the problem with that exactly?" inquired Julio,desperately trying to understand this situation.

"I had caused so much trouble and misery already,why would any of you want me back?" the young assistant was close to sobbing and Julio sighed and clutched Francis impossibly closer to him.

"Because we love you maybe? We looked for you every single day,Rodrigo died looking for you-"

"Wait,what?" Francis jumped from Julio's soothing embrace back on his feet.

"Rodrigo's...dead? I...killed him?" Francis' hands where over his mouth,dark olive eyes wide and wild,he was starting to hyperventilate,sinking into the ground slowly through trembling knees.

Julio knelt in front of the deeply distressed teen,hands holding the younger's forearms firmly,trying to lock gazes with him and thinking he really should have chosen his words more carefully.

"I even knew about your suicidal attempt that one time but not about Rodrigo..." Francis looked up with teary,remorseful eyes.

"You knew about my- how?"

"I was there." the apprentice exhaled sharply,like confessing this had just freed him from something.

Julio jumped back on his feet at that,putting a significant amount of distance between him and the waiter.

"You were- you were....there.Do you even have the slight idea of the difference it would have made if I knew?"

"...Minimal?" Francis tried,smiling awkwardly because he didn't know what the hell else to do.

"I FUCKING THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD,I THOUGHT I HAD LOST BOTH OF YOU! If I just...if I had only known..." Julio kept on pacing the room,pulling at his own thick hair in frustration.

"But you had help! You had your friends! You didn't need me! I saw when Daiana and Hugo rescued you!"

"Wait ...you've met them?! I don't remember mentioning Hugo to you yet...and when Dai saw you on TV she acted like she's never seen you before...Did they know all along? Bastards! I'm gonna-"

"No! They didn't know anything,Hugo barely saw me and your girlfriend not even that.They didn't know,I swear!"

"So that's why Hugo told me he had seen someone who looked a lot like me that night...Oh my god,you know what, _Francisca_? I thought you were dead for the past six years,now I wish you really were." with that,he left the room and the monorail altogether without looking back or uttering a single word.

Francis got up and ran to the double doors,only to have them almost slammed on his face,he clutched to them and let his tears fall freely.

"That's not....no és mi nombre."

Once the train was gone from the station,Julio finally fell to his knees and let himself cry shamelessly.Goddamit,he had just found _her_! Only to lose her again.

Only it wasn't her who he found,that was someone else entirely.

* * *

 _Give me your hand save me save me_  
_I need your love before I fall, fall_

"I was an idiot,an asshole,I should never let those words leave my mouth ever,we're both survivors,I should know better.Would you ever forgive me?"

"You were thinking it,even if you had not said anything.You shouldn't have looked for me.I thought I was better off that family and I was right."

It had been six months of no talking or trading text messages after the disastrous discussion they had.Francis was the first to break the silence,wanting to know where Rodrigo had been buried,they went to visit their deceased brother together and Julio knew his apology was overdue.

He'd been thinking about Francis non-stop,so he actually found himself some time to bingewatch the show his baby brother was in and he wasn't all that happy with what he saw.The boy's talented,kind,helpful and endearing but if he keeps being mistreated this way there's no way he'll ever really... cope.

Julio doubts anyone at the monorail even knows,up until they met him they must have thought the apprentice's trauma was solely due to 'losing his family'.He deeply respected that decision though.

"Look,I just....nowadays Hugo and Dai are very close to me,but at the time I barely knew them.And our parents,deep down,even with evidence proving them wrong they still really suspect I was the one to...impregnate you so I don't count on them much-"

"Wait,they _still_ think that?" Francis was genuinely surprised,he didn't know Julio was having a bad relationship with their parents.

Francis didn't have any idea of how much their family changed since he left.

"Well,you know how Rodrigo was always their favorite.'The Perfect One',he apologized to me the day after that fight broke in,but they never forgot.They even blame me for his death." Julio admitted sincerely,looking down at the gravestone and throwing a thin arm over his sibling's shoulder.

"Wow.....no sé que decir."

"What a surprise,he doesn't know something!" Julio shook Francis lightly by the shoulder,the waiter chuckled heartily and bowed,it was a sweet,welcoming sound the aspiring director wanted to hear a lot more of.

Francis' skin looked so soft,Julio wanted to pinch those cheeks so badly,but he also wanted to smother them in kisses,he wanted to kiss that large mouth,those pale lips,so equal to his.Unconsciously,the hand that wasn't draped over Francis' shoulder,went to one of his pale cheeks and clutched lightly,bringing them closer,now looking unsurely at each other instead of their brother's grave.

"Look,I worded it all in the worst way possible,I was beyond angry but what I really meant is that if I had seen you that night,if you...had come to help me,I would've stopped everything,what took the police and my friends a whole night to do it would've taken seconds if I'd only known you were alive." Julio whispered,his tone genuine and full of repressed emotion,his expression clearly still hurt,his eyes seemed to look that way too but Francis noticed something else in them he couldn't quite figure out what it was just yet.

"I'm really sorry and I forgive you.I'm just glad to have you back." the assistant pulled Julio into a tight embrace and the older sibling reciprocated it just as eagerly.

Their family might never be the same but they still can salvage this one tight bond they once had and make it even stronger,unbreakable even.

"...Julito?" the younger whispered in the filmmaker's ear,making the older's body shiver.

"Síp?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." a lump forming in the waiter's throat almost keeping him from speaking clearly.

"No,I was the one who wasn't there for you when you needed first.If I just-" an agonized,melancholic tone laced the aspiring director's low voice,his eyes shutting tight to keep his tears at bay.

"Hey,hey,hey,shhh.Does it really matter if we're here now? Back together?" Francis tried to reason,running his narrow fingers up and down Julio's back,the older raven-haired man breathed in deeply.

"I...suppose not."

They stayed long minutes like this,embraced to each other like they were glued until the older artist pulled away,he instinctively kept their faces close,large noses brushing slightly,Francis' breath caught in his throat,was it his imagination or Julio was staring at his lips?

Thinking more about it,his older sibling had been acting and looking at him weird all day.

Weird as in,the same way Arnoldo....and Mateo to some extent looked at him when they...were horny.Francis gasped softly at the realization and pulled away gradually.

Julio cleared his throat and tried to recompose himself back to his laid-back demeanor.Giving the waiter's mind time enough to clarify that Julio and Arnoldo's lingering glances and touches were far different from Mateo,their gazes always seemed to hold affection,fondness and care,all these years later and the talented apprentice is still saddened to realize Mateo's bright hazel eyes held none of that.

He was sure the gym teacher loved him though,in his own way just like Arnoldo and Julio seem to.

Everyone appears to come with different kinds of love,Francis has to comprehend that.

Sometimes he wonders how things would have been if Mateo had actually,genuinely cared about him at the time,would he had been willing to help him raise that child that was never born? Would they've been a family of their own? The man was newly married at the time,how would that work? Would had he even transitioned or he'd still be a woman to this day? The child would've been a boy or a girl? Or maybe twins,one of each? What would be their names?

If- _When_ him and Arnoldo become a family someday,he'd like their twins to be named Giulia Donatella and Arnoldo Stefano,hopefully the gran cocinero will agree and if he doesn't,that's okay because-

"-So...there's a really cool Vegan Place not far from here,they have one of the most extensive menu's I've ever seen and they're pretty Eco-friendly too and- You still Vegan,right? I mean you've been working beside a cook all these years...it must be tempting and....Francis?"

"Francis? Sigues conmigo?" Julio snapped his fingers in front of his brother's lost-looking face.

"Qué?" the sweet waiter blinked at least five times.

"You just blanked out there for a second,I asked if you're still Vegan..." Francis came back to the lovely sight of a charmingly worried-looking Julio.

"Oh,uhm....sí,por supuesto." Francis nodded in his usual manner,but it didn't look as natural.

"Cool,so we should get going or it will get too late and we still gotta go meet our folks..."

"Yeah....Hey,they still got the Circus going?"

* * *

"You still find me disgusting,don't you?"

Francis doesn't know why he's here anymore,why he wanted so badly to bond again with Julio when the amateur director still looked at him that way,with judging eyes,he wanted to flee this Earth just so he wouldn't have to see that scrutinizing gaze again.

"No,it'd be very hypocritical of me if I did." Julio took a knee in front of the waiter,using one hand to lift the younger's jaw and force eye contact.

"Huh?"

"What I'm saying is...I think I've always been attracted to you,I've always...loved you way more than a brother really should.So no,I never resented you for feeling the same but ...I still think we really shouldn't cross that line,you understand why,right? It has nothing to do with you personally,you're wonderful."

Julio ran his hands around his distressed sibling's forearms,willing him to breathe steadily,Francis seemed to calm down considerably only to blush madly at the older's words.

"I...guess I do but I also got news for you,we already did." Francis said matter-of-factly,shaking his head and grinning helplessly.

"When?" Julio got up and sat in the chair beside his sibling's.One thick eyebrow raised,one pale arm leaning against the countertop.

"When you saw me naked." the apprentice stated simply,shrugging sheepishly.

Julio almost doubled over in a fit of laughter,tears prickling up at the corners of his eyes,Francis was as confused as ever.

"W-what's so funny?" he said,frightened slightly.

"Alright,I don't want to sound creepy but I had seen you naked plenty of times before that,you know.Rodrigo and I were the older siblings so we had the unwanted duty of taking care of Baby You." Francis started to pull a goofy,suspicious face so Julio had to clarify.

"Hey,I was not having....naughty thoughts about you as a toddler! I mean,I probably wanted to but kept denying them...honestly,after...you showed yourself to me and ran away,all half of me could think about was that if I had gotten to you first,I could have prevented that whole disaster.The less of two evils,right?" Julio chuckled humorlessly and ran a hand over his charming,nervous face,Francis nodded,kind features full of understanding.

"I always thought the same thing."

After,at least 30 seconds of awkward silence,Julio staring at the ground and Francis picking distractedly at the short sleeves of his shirt,the young waiter decided to speak up his main thought,a rather risky one.He stammered all around his sentence,the tone of voice he kept trying to sound confident,wavering all throughout,although there was nothing else in this world he was more sure about at the moment.

"I want- I want to do that again.I- I might not look that attractive and you might change your mind again and- and think I'm disgusting but I .... I still want to do it.I want to get naked in front of you and I want you to touch me,just like that day,except...there's no one to interrupt us."

* * *

 _Thank you for letting me be me_  
_For helping me fly_  
_For giving me wings_

"Jajaaja,no lo puedo creer! The face of the old broad when you threw el jugo de frutas rojas y arándanos down her dress! That was priceless,Francis! Te felicito!"

Both of the gran cook's thick,calloused hands reached each side of the kind assistant's cheeks,giving the younger a chaste but meaningful kiss right on his pale lips,Francis moaned softly in surprise and the apprentice was sure Arnoldo could feel how fast his cheeks had heated.

"Gracias,señor,but it really wasn't on purpose...."

"Doesn't matter,Francis,I haven't laughed like this in years.I just can't wait for the old rag to leave and this day to be over but you amusing me in the meantime is grandly welcomed."

Arnoldo's expression was warm and gleeful,his dark eyes sparkling and Francis had been worried in vain.

He found out about his pregnancy the very same day Arnoldo called Inés to a date,a Special Dinner at the monorail with a very special recipe made primarily by Flores Blancas cosechadas en las montañas nevadas más altas por sus (Francis') proprias manos.

Francis was beyond jealous and saw the older woman as a threat for sure,even after 5 years of a somewhat steady relationship,yet he tried to remain confident.

After all,technically he _has_ been cheating on Arnoldo occasionally for the past 2 years or so,with someone else he really shouldn't be with (he has a magnet for those).They've had some great Angry-Jealous sex last time they were vacationing in Rio not long ago and...Oh wait.

He tried to clutch tightly to the fact both Arnoldo and Inés had no interest in each other whatsoever the first time she visited and they only ever contacted again now,2 years later,upon Capitán Topa's request.

The same way Rulo Ricardo had shown no interest in women in any way,shape or form before he was....kindly asked by Topa to....give Harmony some precious time the orange clad Rulo would rather be using to lick down Rolando's balls.

It was only to keep covers,for the kids....and still....

"Arnoldo....?"

"Sí?" asked a distracted overweight cook working on his dish.

"Don't you think...Inés might be a better fit for you?" the young assistant asked hesitantly,clutching ever tightly to his repasador.

"Ay,Francis,ya viene con sus tonterías otra vez? Que quieres decir?" now Arnoldo did look at the waiter but with indignant,unimpressed dark eyes.

"What I mean is that....ella és una gran crítica de cocina,usted és un gran cocinero,she's around your age and she's not that bad looking either with those curves and big,oversized-" Francis gestured awkwardly around his chest as to show her fortunate breast area "-things,I just feel like you both seem like a really good match,señor." the blue clad waiter started curling in on himself upon the older man's hard,unhappy round face.

"Francis,mire en mi cara y dime if I asked how you feel at all before you told me all this nonsense."

"No,señor." the younger shook his head madly,the brunet man's expression softened ever so slightly.

"First of all,Francis,you've got those too,you've got the curves and you've got nice breasts,I've seen them grow,when I met you,you barely even had them."

Arnoldo held Francis in a loose but firm embrace,thick arms around slim waist,his tone light and nonchalant,the assistant's own hands going instinctively to the older's chest.

"I do like that you hide them though,keeping away from other men's eyes what's only mine." Arnoldo's expertised hands reached briefly under the younger's vest and t-shirt to cup and fondle at the familiar medium sized breasts,humming contentedly,pinching and twisting both nipples,Francis threw his head back and bit his lower lip to keep from moaning,gripping tightly to the older man's arms.

It's curious to know that right at that moment,Inés was dancing with Topa and just about to crash the White Flower into pieces.

"Second of all,I've seen how she treats you.Come on,Francis! Everyone knows you can't trust anyone who mistreats a camarero!"

Arnoldo chuckled heartily and let go of Francis altogether to go back to his work,the curly-haired waiter anxiously licked his lips and breathed in and out,his nipples still hard and tingling,starting to get...oversensitive due to other reasons.Francis bowed his head and grinned to himself.

"Tiene razón,señor."

"I always do,Francis."

* * *

 _Thank you for waking me from a dream which was all I was living in_  
_When I think of you the sun comes out_

"So THAT'S why he was having those weird wishes,outbursts and tantrums in the middle of the night! He should have told me! I would have helped him from day one! Why wouldn't he tell me first?" stated a very disgruntled Harmony who by this point had believed Francis had been telling her everything...

Little did she know.

"Might be because you're not the father." said Carlos flatly and the brunet azafata made a face.It made Francis wonder if the ginger-haired drummer knew.

Los Rulos had been the bearer of the...good news for everyone else from the crew,Francis wanting it to be like this or not,Arnoldo wouldn't stop holding him while letting silent tears of happiness fall no matter how hard the waiter tried to escape so he didn't really have a choice.

"I just...I thought we were good friends and he didn't even trust me to tell he was trans in the first place..." Francis could hear her voice faintly and practically hear the frown her pretty features embraced,he wanted to hug her,say he was sorry,he knew the teen had a crush on him and he didn't want to seem like he was leading her on,it wasn't working.

"Harmonita,are you gonna turn your back on him?" asked Rolando carefully.

"No,he'll need all of us,I shouldn't let my personal grudges stop me from doing what my sister and I were born to do,helping others." Harmony grinned a bit forcefully,the others cheered and Francis relaxed considerably under Arnoldo's rough touch.

He doesn't know what he will do when the baby is born,has no trace of Arnoldo whatsoever,it's a fruit of incest to top it off and he's not even sure if he might be able to carry to term due to his risky abortion all those years ago.

By then,he can only hope he'll still get all the help and support he's been offered so far.

Arnoldo only let go of his young apprentice,still ever so slowly,when Capitán Topa entered the scene.

"Guys,what's going on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still resent 'Flor de Bievenida' a lot... Come on,Parkerina! It was only ONE episode...  
> But we do have a whole new season ahead of us,many episodes/chances for Topa and the writing staff to fuck it all up again.  
> Maybe Rulo Ricardo will get Harmony pregnant or something.  
> Or worse, a Francis/Josefina Date *shudders violently*


End file.
